I am Complicated.

Ok JQ...It's been awhile, I owe ya!

I am: not a fast runner, but enjoy it all the same.
I think: hell is really our time here on earth.
I know: how to cut to the core and love like no other.
I have: to find a way to move past this gut wrenching pain.
I wish: I could start over. I would give myself, my friends and family a break knowing all of it was just little stuff that would never have become big stuff if we had only known that.
I hate: drugs and how morally vacant most people are.
I miss: being held each night and waking up next to someone every morning.
I fear: I will never get rid of this loneliness inside me that I have felt my entire life.
I hear: people saying going to strip clubs when in a relationship is no big deal...and feel sorry that anyone has that little self respect for themselves and their relationship.
I smell: my burberry brit perfume....bliss!
I crave: security and contentment.
I search: my mind for answers that are not there!
I wonder: Why people push their Pro-life views in others faces...especially men. Turns my stomach.
I regret: believing I am never enough: Pretty enough, fit enough, wealthy enough...on and on.
I love: having my hair played with.
I ache: for abandoned children and animals and anyone that is truly lonely.
I am not: ok
I believe: in God but question a lot about religion.
I dance: rarely but dream of breaking out a fun surprise dance at my wedding (to my yet to be met hubby)!!
I sing: in the car and I sound terrible but do not care.
I cry: for others people's pain and happy tears for their success.
I fight: depression every day.
I win: the battle and lose the war.
I lose: perspective when I get emotional about how my relationship with AK really was.
I never: want to die before my husband...the one I don't have yet.
I always: try to think of other's feelings.
I confuse: what I want and what I need.
I listen: to my heart more than my head.
I can usually be found: working my tail off.
I am scared: that I will be alone forever.
I need: a vacation.
I am happy about: the fact that I have a job while so many are out of work.
I imagine: that I better get workin' on making my happiness.
Who's next?