Crazy Cat Lady

So, I have visions of being old and alone with my two cats. You know...a crazy cat lady.
I had the dinner date guy over last night, and just as we popped in a movie, I start to notice that Mackenzie (my boy cat) is not well. Now, I knew that something was up earlier in the day, and have been commenting to people that know him, that he has been acting really needy for about two weeks. Last night during said date it all came to a head. My poor little guy wanted to be right next to me but did not want me to touch him. He puked. He had a glazed over eyes, I-am-in-bigtime-pain look on his face and he could not get comfortable. Then he started peeing...like a snail...leaving a trail everywhere he went...very strange as he NEVER EVER goes outside of the box. I knew he was ILL.
So today I drop $200 to find out he has some crystal formations blocking him up...just great.
All I really care about is that he is not going to die. That would really be the cherry on top of the shit sundae that has been served up this year.
A few months back when all this stuff started with AK and I, Bella (my girl cat) lost a lot of her hair. That was from the stress of AK being gone. She favors him, and if it were not for Mack and my huge attachment to her, I would give her to him, because she loves him madly. She RUNS to the door when he comes over. She lounges on or near him every chance she gets. She must have had a mini breakdown during that month that I did not talk to him because sure enough she had no hair down her back. Yes, we have successfully messed up the kids, and I have dropped an additional $300 total between the two of them.
Thank god we do not have children.

Cat Quote: “When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her.”

You said you would love me until you died.

Well, as far as I know you're still alive.
Way to go...now our relationship as I believed it to be is now dead.
I am moving on. I find myself needing to call you and see you less and less.
Will I ever be over you 100%...not sure. I am guessing no. I do believe I will find real love with someone other than you now. Every time I have fun with another guy a little piece of me let's go of you. I am fighting against feelings of resentment even. I have no use for feeling bitter or p.o'd at you, but it is hard to not fully notice how much you neglected me now. Things sure are blurry when you are in the middle of a situation. I plan on keeping the lenses clean this next time around...I have a feeling from what I have seen, that I will not need to worry about 1/100000th of the crap I needed to be aware of with you!!
I'll be fine...Don't bother with your backpeddling and concern now. I will not die of deception. You on the other hand, you just might die alone and lonely if you keep up this "new" you...just like your father. Probably thinking about how much you still love me and regretting your poor choices...just like your father did with the love of his life. So maybe you were right...you will love me until you die...you just won't be faithful!!!!!

I’m trying to die correctly, but it’s very difficult, you know. (Lawrence Durrell)

Resting In Gods Arms

I have been given the Privilege of Honoring

Nereida DeJesus.

This picture was forwarded to me by Roxanne Perez. She is the mother of Mike the father of Nereida's daughter Lauren. They were taken by Efrain De La Cruz (Major,US ARMY) who lost his sister Lillian Caceres on 9/11. He attended and took this photo at ground zero on 9/11/02. He was thoughtful and generous to share them with the family and now with us!

Please visit the Quilt Memorial Project at www.unitedinmemory.net

For Nereida De Jesus, life equaled Lauren. Lauren was her daughter, a bubbly 7-year-old whom Ms. De Jesus, 30, was raising alone in Woodlawn in the Bronx. Mother and daughter would do everything together (get their hair done, go to movies, take bubble baths).

Ms. De Jesus' new job as a claims adjuster at Aon Insurance, which she started only a few months before Sept. 11, enabled her to send Lauren to a private Catholic school. When Ms. De Jesus was not working or taking care of Lauren, she could usually be found at church, either at her sister's missionary church in Dover, N.J., or at a church near her home.

Ms. De Jesus, said her sister, Elaine De Jesus, wanted to be like her own mother, who had raised three children alone on the Lower East Side (when that neighborhood was one of the worst in the city) and somehow had them all turn out fine. "Her job was helping her accomplish the plans that she had," Elaine De Jesus said. "She was proud."

Legacy.com has beautiful comments posted by the friends and family of Nereida. I was moved to tears reading them. I did not have the pleasure of meeting Nereida, but I am so glad we were brought together through this 2996 Tribute. Funny how God works. I think about 9/11 every year a bit, but mostly I move through the day with ease. This year, since having made this "connection" with Nereida, I have been struggling a bit. I guess this is what I needed to make the whole thing "real" on a deeper level. I have been thinking of her while watching the news coverage, the documentaries, while at the movies...and I am especially thinking of her and her family today.

What a beautiful wonderful person. She was just one year younger than I am now when she went to be with God. That hits home. I hope anyone reading this understands there is no way I could possibly do justice to the life of Nereida, but rather takes comfort that there is just one more person out there that will help to keep her memory alive ~ even if in just this small way.

I will remember her not just today, or this anniversary, but from now on...my prayers will always include the DeJesus and Perez families! God bless you and keep you safe.

Please see a tribute from that day set to music by Enya.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhCoD94YDAg

I encourage you to visit http://www.dcroe.com/2996/ and take a moment to remember the victims of September 11, 2001.

Some information was taken from excerpts from The New York Times, November 24, 2001.

Please always keep Nereida, her family and all the people affected by 9/11/2001 in your thoughts and prayers...and NEVER EVER FORGET.